Surviving the Season Being Single

Updated: Jan 18



It was so much fun getting everyone’s responses to my stories last week when I inched that I would be blogging under the inspiration of Arianna Grande’s “Thank you, Next”. I got everything from guessing it’s about self-love and dating to “soooo excited to read it!”


I’m no dating expert. I can count the guys I’ve dated in one hand… and I’d have fingers left over! But that doesn’t mean I don’t have juicy stories to tell.


Like just the other day someone trying to slip into my DM’s… but you’ve got a girlfriend? Boy, please! Halted that convo at “I saw you got back with your girlfriend! I wish you guys the best!” It ended with a notification saying so-and-so liked your comment. Ha!


The Most Wonderful Time of the Year


So anyway, this blog isn’t about dating, per-say. I’m almost done with Mike Todd’s book, Relationship Goals and I think if you really want guidance in purposeful dating, that’s a good read.


I actually want to share some practical tips on how I’m pushing through this season of love and romance without gagging at every couple’s picture I scroll through on instagram. I mean, if you’re in a relationship with a man or woman you love, by all means, post away! I’ll probably like and comment on your pic.


For the rest of us that not only are having to social distance from family and friends but we have to live it without a significant other… well, I hope my perspective and tips can make life a little easier to manage for the next month and a half or so.


Contentment


Before I get into the practical tips, I do want to share the one habit that I am practicing every single day. I find that if I don’t have my heart in the right place, it doesn’t matter how many things I try to distract my mind with, it doesn’t work. This key habit is learning to be content.


“Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want but the realization of how much you already have.”


We are all in different journeys of being single. There are those that are single and hurt from a previous relationship. Some are single and just want to date around. Others are single and ready for something serious. It doesn’t matter where you are in your journey, contentment is the ability to embrace where that is and what you have and be okay with it.


I have my moments. I think I’m somewhere in the middle of hurt and hopeful. Even though there are a lot of things that I want and I don’t have (relationally speaking), whenever I feel a I am being overwhelmed by my thoughts, I try to stop and center myself.


When I say stop, I literally mean stop. I will stop dead in my tracks and close my eyes and start listing the things in my mind that I am grateful for in this season. As I do that, I feel content fill my heart. I embrace that I may not have everything I want, but I do have everything I need.


Treat Yourself


Let’s go into the practicality. One thing I’ve enjoyed the most about being on my own is not having to coordinate with anyone my time to myself.


The other day the kids were at their dad’s, I had already cleaned, ate dinner and as a bonus, it was pouring outside. I put on some comfy jammies, prepared a hot chamomile tea with a peanut butter rice cake and cozzied up in my bed with my “Becoming” book by Michelle Obama.


Here’s the best part: nobody interrupted me. Nobody asked me for a late-night snack, nobody wanted to watch a movie instead; nobody depended on me at all. For a momma of two, that’s a frikin huge treat.


So during this season, on a Friday or Saturday night when you know everyone else is out having date night, serve yourself a cup of wine (or in my case, a margarita), prep a gourmet cheese and crackers plate for one and then try 3 different face masks from Sephora. Lol! I would start with a gentle exfoliation, followed by a mud mask and finished off with one of those cucumber-watermelon refreshing ones. Don’t forget to turn on your favorite Sandra Bullock movie while those masks are doing their thang! (she’s my fave)


Reunite with a Friend


Let me remind you of something you already know. This pandemic has hit so many of us hard in a lot of different ways. We need each other.


Usually, for Thanksgiving my family has a huge gathering. I’m Colombian, my family is numerous on either side. I grew up with a lot of cousins and these special dates were always the best! Now we are all spread out in different countries and states.


Last month, my parents caught this notorious virus and thankfully they are well on their way out of the woods. They are strong and their symptoms are very mild now. Nonetheless, this is going to be the first Thanksgiving that we aren’t even going to be with them.


This year it’s just my brother, my kids and me. It makes me want to cry. I’ve been so emotional this last week because of having to temporarily relocate, knowing I can’t see my parents and just feeling so unsure of things.


Thankfully, I have a strong circle.


Nowadays there are a lot of people struggling with mental health. The anxiety, the uncertainty, the loss and the lack of hope has really taken over our world. Why don’t you check on a friend today? Maybe, while our biggest problem is the lack of a partner, somebody else is thinking about suicide or somebody doesn’t have food on their table.


Many times, when we take the focus off of us and unto others that is exactly what we need to heal from within.


Be a Boss


My last and final tip is actually one that I will be extending into my December blogs.


One mistake that many are making is thinking that on January 1st, 2021, everything is going to be different. It’s not. 2021 is going to be what YOU make of it and guess what? If you wait until 1/1/21 to get your mindset straight, you’re already late to the party.


A lot of people want to be their own boss. But do you really know what it takes to be your own boss? When you are the boss, you are the one that has to know what’s next. Nobody is giving you instructions… you have to figure it out yourself. Your vision has to come from within.


When you are your own boss, you have to have the discipline to treat your life like a business. If not, honey bunches of oats, you will not have any money for food.


What do you want to do in 2021?


I don’t mean to boast but I am proud of myself for what I did in 2020. While others sat and waiting the year out, I started and set the foundations for my blog, I launched my own clothing brand, I’m even ending the year creating my own vlog. I’ve got vision for 2021. I know I’ve done it while others watched movies.


Here’s my biggest tip yet: 2021 begins in December 2020. Join me this month while we prepare for an amazing new year!


I want to help you CREATE A LIFE YOU LOVE… I life by YOU!