An Undivided Heart

Updated: Jan 18

I’m a true coffee lover.  After every meal at any restaurant, I will not crave dessert.  I will crave a cappuccino.  The thought of this hot, foamy and sweet beverage with its strong coffee taste and aroma makes my mouth water.  I don’t have to think about it, I don’t have to look at the dessert menu… “I’d like a cappuccino, please.”

Yet the strangest thing happens to me when I pull up to a Starbucks drive thru. Every single time I have the same dilemma. Do I want a Caramel Macchiato or a Café Latte?

Does that happen to you?

It’s not a big deal at Starbucks. I mean, I end up picking one or the other. But when indecision reaches more important areas of my life… it’s nothing short of frustrating.

Many times, indecision paralyses us. Indecision stops us from pursuing the life we would like to live. If there is one thing I have acquired in my 30’s is the willpower to choose and to stick to my convictions.

Is love in the air? (like, literally)

A couple of months ago a guy messaged me on socials. (How intrigued are you? lol) He seemed like a nice guy. He was Colombian, easy on the eyes and… wait for it… a pilot. Come on ladies; imagine the dates you can go on with a pilot!

We exchanged messages for probably less than a week. He was interesting but it didn’t take long for me to know, he was just not the right guy for me. Don’t get me wrong, he was the full package: sweet, cute, a family guy professional… but he was a package meant for another lovely lady, not myself.

Now, let’s be honest, we probably could have talked for longer than a week. I confess that at some point I considered I probably just didn’t know enough about him to make a choice. That indecision didn’t last long. There was no point. I already knew.

So I let him know. I wasn’t going to waste his time with my indecision. I wasn’t going to maybe have him like me more down the road only to have a bigger heartbreak. I totally friend-zoned him the first chance I got.

Now, don’t bother trying to track him down within my IG followers because his reaction was to block all my accounts. Understandable; I respected it. I still believe I made the right choice. Probably when he meets the right girl he’ll appreciate that I didn’t waste his time.

I prayed for this

This year my church decided that we wouldn’t allow for quarantine to stop us from hosting our biggest event of the year: Vous Conference. We took it online and thousands of people were blessed and encouraged in the middle of the difficult times we are living in.

My favorite message during conference was one given by DawnChere called “New world, new me”. It was one of those moments where you know you can cut your life before and after it.

For so long I let indecision paralyze me. Should I start investing? Should I start my blog? Should I pursue this dream? Should I be a teacher? And more recently: should I date this guy?

All of these have risk tied to them. What if I lose my money? What if nobody reads it? What if I fail? What if I can’t? And… what if he breaks my heart or I break his?

This is the message that I believe God sent me through DC’s talk:

I will give you an undivided heart. I won’t just renovate, I will recreate!

I remember I was listening to DC on the floor sitting on top of my yoga mat.  I had been listening and stretching but at that moment I stopped and I wrote.  After I wrote, I prayed.

“I believe you God.  Put an undivided heart in me. Help me be someone bold.  Help me be someone faithful.”

Trust me, it’s not magic. I can’t say since that moment I haven’t doubted myself. I can say that I’ve practiced having an undivided heart.

Practice being bold

Here’s an exercise you can do in your quiet time that can help you get rid of indecision. Take a piece of paper and write down your convictions. In the future, when you are presented with the option to choose, choose by the convictions you have already agreed on with yourself.

Here are some of mine as examples.

  • I am committed to my blog.  The question is not if I will write this week but what will I write about?  I will not give up.

  • I am an excellent mother.  I will take time every day that I am with them to let them know I love them.  I will pray over my children.

  • I will not play with people’s emotions.  If I don’t think we’re the right match, I will let that person know.  I will not waste a guy’s time for my own benefit.

  • I am a Christian.  It doesn’t matter if the people around me are or aren’t.  I will stand firm in the faith I’ve held since I was 15 years old.  He has never failed me.

So let’s leave the indecision at the drive thru. In the things that matter most, God wants us to have an undivided heart. He will honor your boldness. People will appreciate your honesty. You will be proud of yourself for walking in your convictions.

In all this remember to create a life you love… a life by YOU!